I've been reading a lovely and old-fashioned book called Saints are not Sad which is a compilation of the lives of forty saints. I'm becoming acquainted with some familiar saints from a new perspective as well as some saints of whom I have never heard of before. One such saint, St. Bede, has a wonderful quote. He says, "The perfection of the Christian life lay not in renunciation but in acceptance."
I have spent so much time these past few years trying to surrender myself to God's will. I prayed day after day with the word "surrender" in my heart. Mostly, I have met with failure. The things I try to give up, to do without and to surrender remain deeply embedded within my heart and soul. My long-ingrained habits are so hard to renounce! Again and again, I meet with the disappointment of failure in my efforts to surrender to God.
Now failure isn't always such a bad thing. I've heard that Abraham Lincoln failed at many things before finally meeting with the success of the presidency. St. Francis Xavier was also one who failed many times. In fact, Alban Goodier, SJ has this to say about St. Francis Xavier in Saints are not Sad: "There is a greater greatness than the greatness of success;and that is the greatness of failure. For that is the greatness of being, without the encouragement of doing;the greatness of sacrifice, of which others less great may reap the fruits."
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4 comments:
I like to think of it as 'uniformity' to God's will more so than 'conformity' to God's will.
Elena,
I struggle every day to surrender myself entirely to the Lord. I enjoyed this post tremendously, especially since I fail a lot:) This year, I have decided to focus on charity and believe me I am being tested daily! At least I'll have fortitude covered by the time this is all done;) Maybe I should have chosen fortitude first? My husband jokes that he is afraid to pray for virtues because the Lord always allows plenty of opportunities to be tested after this and he flunks half the time:)
Good point, Julygirl, since we are striving for union with God.
Mary, we are all in the same boat. I just try to remember what Mother Teresa said, that God does not ask us to be successful but faithful. It is easy to fall beneath the cross; everyone does. Those who win the heavenly crown are those who keep getting up again and again.
Failure in our efforts to achieve 'holiness' leads us to the place where God really wants us and that is humility and total dependence on Him.
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